real racing fan
Exceptional Member
Things to do @ Wal-Mart while your spouse or significant other is taking
his/her sweet time!
1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when
they are not looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout
the
day.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think
we've got a Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
5. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and
turn the volumes to "10."
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
8. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
9. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only
invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
10. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't
you
people just leave me alone?"
11. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while
you pick your nose.
12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale
battlefield with Pokemon vs. the X-Men.
13. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
14. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the
clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
15. Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms.
16. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission
Impossible."
17. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
18. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various
funnels.
19. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say
things like "pick me! pick me!!"
20. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, loudly announce
"It's those voices again!"
21. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you
don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
22. Go into the dressing room and yell real loud..."Hey, we're out of
toilet paper in here!"
23. Go into the hunting department, put on a camouflage coat and hat,
and quietly peak around the aisles asking people if they've seen any of
them
damned flyin' squirrels....
his/her sweet time!
1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when
they are not looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout
the
day.
3. Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think
we've got a Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.
5. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and
turn the volumes to "10."
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
8. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
9. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only
invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
10. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't
you
people just leave me alone?"
11. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while
you pick your nose.
12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale
battlefield with Pokemon vs. the X-Men.
13. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
14. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the
clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
15. Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms.
16. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission
Impossible."
17. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
18. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various
funnels.
19. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say
things like "pick me! pick me!!"
20. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, loudly announce
"It's those voices again!"
21. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you
don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
22. Go into the dressing room and yell real loud..."Hey, we're out of
toilet paper in here!"
23. Go into the hunting department, put on a camouflage coat and hat,
and quietly peak around the aisles asking people if they've seen any of
them
damned flyin' squirrels....
